Girl Auctions Off Her Virginity–Online!

And the winner is….

“We got 11,000….Do I hear 12,000? … 12 for the pretty little Romanian! ….12? ….12 for a once in a lifetime fantasy… Folks, ya can’t beat the price! … 12 IT IS to the man with the white polyester pants and obnoxious gold chain! …

Do I hear 13? … 13,000? … She’s a beauty, folks…look at ‘er…Untouched and pure! … She’s a young one, only 18 fellas! Only 18! PURE, RIPE AND READY TO GO! … 13? ...13? …13 IT IS for the man with the sleazy turned up collar and bad cologne!…

Do I hear 14? …14,000? …14,000? …

Folks, come on, you can’t get any purer than this beauty right here…Look at those eyes! … Innocent, never touched before – GUARANTEED! … It’s like opening your very own brand new package …14,000? …Folks, $14,000 … Oh, she’s a rarity…Not too many virgins around these days...And certainly not for this price! …. This deal is a steal! ….

Come on, 14,000? … Do I hear 14,000? … $14,000? ….14,000? … SOLD!!! … SOLD TO THE ITALIAN BUSINESSMAN FROM BOLOGNA! EXCELLENT CHOICE SIR, CONGRATULATIONS!”
Internet marketing — a whole new way of commerce!
According to news reports, Alina Percea, an 18 year old Romanian born college student studying in Germany auctioned off her virginity for $14,000 on a website so she could afford to pay for her computer degree.

Woe, these truly are wretched economic times! …Woe is me!

Now she faces losing half of her virginity earnings to the Tax Man.

HALF!

That’s like getting f----- twice.

Sorry, but it is.

UNBELIEVABLE!

Stupid Girl!

$14,000 for your virginity?

What on earth was she thinking?

Oh, she must feel just horrible about herself!

Just horrible!

She must really hate herself now!

What has the world come to?

Selling your virginity?
Online?
For $14,000?

Is that what virginity has been reduced to? A mere $14,000 lousy, stinking dollars? You can’t even buy a decent car with $14,000, let alone with any non-standard features. This girl is just stupid! No wonder she’s studying computers, she’d never make it in business.

She could have gotten more—way more—especially because virginity is so extremely rare in this day and age. I mean, come on, doesn’t she even know that? Supply and demand, baby, its basic econ! And now, on top of everything, she has to give half of it to the German government. Why? Because German authorities declared that it was no different than prostitution. And prostitution in Germany is legal—and taxable.

Learn baby, learn. Learn from history, honey. Learn from those “wise” business people who made the same mistakes before you. Leona Helmsley. Al Capone. No matter what you do—or in this case, who you do—they’ll always get you on taxes.

And now they’re talking about a VAT tax (whatever that is) but it’s likely to eat up an additional 19% of her earnings. So after all is said and done, she just might come out with only like less than $6,000 bucks in the end.

UNBELIEVEABLE!

She ain’t no Arab girl, either, that’s for sure! No way! $14,000? Are you kidding me? That would be an insult! A HUGE insult! An Arab chick knows how to bargain (we’ve already gone through this lesson before with my other blog Restaurants, Real Estate and Retail). An Arab chick would have easily gotten a couple of million for that! At least. No question! Doesn’t this girl even know how sacred virginity is these days? Plus, you only get one shot! Literally. I mean, come on, you gotta set your price high from the door!

You know, one time, me and my siblings wanted to sell off my sister, you know, just to make a buck or two. We were thinking of some rich Gulf guys, of course, hers would be for life-long marriage, but still, it was a solid business plan. We didn’t tell my parents or anything, we just conspired amongst ourselves. But even as young entrepreneurial, ghetto-fabulous immigrant kids, we were looking at least a couple million—and that was like 20 years ago!

Alina reportedly said that she was inspired by 22 year old Natalie Dylan from San Diego, who put her own virginity up for sale. Natalie’s highest bidder was 3.7 million dollars.

Now that’s capitalism! Learn from us Americans how to make a buck (and a bailout)! 3.7 million! That’s impressive—and she’s not even a slick bargaining ethnic chick! Way to go, Natalie! Maybe it’s because Alina is from Eastern Europe and all, and actually thought that $14,000 was a really good price. No disrespect, but those former communist bloc nations haven’t really caught up economically, yet.

And the icing on the cake?

The sex was performed without a condom.

Honey, I say, if you’re bargaining that low, what’s a couple thousand bucks less, right? A smart decision would have been to lower the price a little in exchange for the use of a condom. They’re only a couple of bucks, ya know? Besides the fact of putting your very life at risk, the price of those AIDS cocktails can really add up.

Makes you just wish you could do it all over again, doesn’t it?…uhhh…butcha can’t. (Ouch…I’m sorry...I know that hurt.)

The winner was a 45 year old Italian businessman who flew Alina to Venice for the romantic rendezvous. They stayed in a luxury hotel…wait a minute…hold on a second…Venice?…Wasn’t that where Madonna shot her “Like a Virgin” video?

Hmmm…interesting.

Anyway, they apparently, made a business agreement: she provided medical certificates proving that she was a virgin, and he supplied documentation which stated he was free from SDTs.

FYI guys…uhhh...in case you didn’t know, doctors routinely perform reconstructive surgeries to restore women’s hymens. And honey, it certain circles, believe me, it’s all the rage. And on the other hand, there are plenty of doctors who will gladly provide any kind of certificate you wish...Clean Bill of Health…no STDs….you name it. Hell, I can get antibiotics just for telling them I sneezed last Thursday.

For both of their sakes, I just hope it was an ethical business deal.

I’m just confused about one little thing, though: How could a person who is so careless and carefree with her sexuality and virginity, have lost it so late in life? I mean, if she can casually send it off with a stranger for a buck, then clearly, it couldn’t have been so sacred to her to hold onto for so long. (And trust me, in this day and age, 18 is long.) And if it wasn’t so sacred, then why did it take her so long to give it up in the first place?

And if it was so sacred, then why put a price on it?

I’m confused.

I know a girl’s gotta make a living, and she really wanted the experience to be special. But she met a strange man, in a strange country, making a strange business deal—and yet she completely trusted him NOT to be, or to act, strange. Moral arguments aside, wouldn’t that be kinda dangerous? Or am I just being old fashioned here?

This girl seems like a really nice person. Apparently, she is a romantic. She said she wanted to “meet a nice man, like in the film Pretty Woman.”

Sweetheart, it’s a film. Richard Gere was acting.

I admire her romanticism. And I give her credit for believing in love, and for sending off her virginity with a bang—pardon the pun. I have no issue with two consenting adults, and the choices they make. Live and let live. Your business is your business, babe, not mine. And I try not to cast the first stone.

As a matter of fact, in all fairness, one must acknowledge the truth, which is, regardless of whether you agree or disagree with their choices, the fact remains that there are plenty of women who give up their virginities to strangers—to men who become their new husbands—and they experience nothing special. In fact, the truth is that sometimes they even experience the horrific, the sad, the lonely—and are completely devastated by the whole ordeal. At least this girl planned to lose her virginity her way, on her terms, and tried to make her first time special. So, I give her credit for that. She said she enjoyed it. It’s her life—and her decision.

But, sorry, I just don’t get it.

Not for that price, anyway.

(Every girl deserves that kind of fairy tale. I hope this man comes back for you, and you find true love.)

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About Dalel B. Khalil

Dalel B. Khalil is a Syrian-American who just published FROM VEILS TO THONGS An Arab Chick’s Survival Guide to Balancing One’s Ethnic Identity in America. This hilarious, first-of-its kind book explains how to retain one’s sanity in the battle of the ultimate culture clash and offers hilarious explanations as to why we still have arranged marriages in this day and age! Most recently, Dalel spent 3 months in Syria where she traveled all over the country as well as to Lebanon, Jordan and Dubai. While in Damascus, she volunteered with Iraqi refugees and did public relations work with the Middle East Council of Churches—meeting directly with NGO’s and UN officials to see how Syria was dealing with the Iraqi refugee crisis. She engaged in many cross-cultural forums and multi-faith discussions to promote dialogue between the East and the West. She also got yelled at by rude taxi drivers who begged her to speak English because they didn’t quite understand her “ghetto-fabulous” Syrian accent. (Yill an…!) Prior to that, Dalel has worked as a reporter, anchor, talk show host and morning show co-host for three of Pittsburgh's top radio stations.

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